The Destructive Power Of Peer Pressure

Have you ever been pressured by your parents with any school work, I have. My parents are always on to me, have you done your homework Faizana?, have you read?, have you done this?, have you done that? I know the feeling, it’s not to good, especially when you get a bad grade. Many kids from the age of 8-13 are actually being pressured from their parents or peers to get the best of grades the school has to offer. Kids are studying way beyond their limit, not having a social life, not being able to do things that most majority of kids are doing. At that age they are proving or pleasing to parents that they are capable of accomplishing something when their parents should know that they are capable of doing that. Yes, we all should encourage kids to do the best they can but that doesn’t mean they should put success upon everything else.

One reason I think that parents put too much pressure on kids is that many parents put pressure on their children to earn perfect grades, no matter the cost. Guidance couns telors say that this is one of the kid’s biggest issues, they get a lot of stress to please their parents or peers. Parents can be very eager and forceful for their kids to success in life, but they also need a social life. I think that for this issue, a way to solve it is for the parents to listen in on what is going on in their kid’s life and understand where they are coming from, not just accusing them. Kids have a lot of stress already from school or from friends, one of the biggest issues of stress are from social media. At many schools, such as UWCSEA parents can track their child's grades and tests, they can also track personal emails, and homework assignments. When the parents find that the grades are out, it is quite obvious that the kid will get a slight under confident feeling, that their parents might get angry at them. Of course, they would be worried, especially if it is coming near to the end of the year. Parents always are wondering how their kids are doing in school, that is normal, every parent should think that, though it can make the child agitated at times as they keep on getting reminded “studying comes first before anything else”. By rising the pressure, as they grow older, they will always want their parents to be happy or teachers, but it’s not like that, kids should please themselves, they should be happy, if they tried their hardest, that should be enough. It doesn’t need to show in the grades. "Rejection can be heart-breaking and devastating. Especially for high-achieving students who spent countless hours studying and preparing for assignments, exams and projects," said Anxiety.org.

Another reason for pressure is stress and anxiety. Kids get anxiety, they get worried. This can lead to depression, anger and frustration. So stress can affect anyone who feels overwhelmed — even kids. In preschoolers, separation from parents can cause anxiety. As kids get older, academic and social pressures (especially from trying to fit in) create stress said "Childhood Stress." KidsHealth - the Web's Most Visited Site about Children's Health. As it says, “as kids grow older, academic and social pressures create stress”, it means that, if any kid has any stress from school, their peers or family should notice this action and should help the kids otherwise what if the kid might hurt himself/herself, in some cases that might happen.

Girls and boys also adults, have this kind of pressure from work, family, friends or even social media. Parents should be aware of this, everyone should be aware and should help, everyone should be careful if it happens to their friends or it happens to yourself. If you are in this position get someone to talk to, they can help you.



Bibliography:

https://www.anxiety.org

http://kidshealth.org/en/parents/stress.html

Fight The Procrastination

Procrastination is a complicated issue because even though it is evidently damaging to many people in our world, it is an addiction that many cannot put a stop to. While procrastination can give you instant gratification by delays, when the time arrives, all the built stress which had been put aside with countless excuses, is mind-blowing. Day after day, the time which can easily be used to do something, gone to waste because of procrastination. This is a continuous cycle which lacks hard work or determination. Don’t you think the overwhelming stress and pain in the end outweighs the small-term satisfaction?

Days will pass by, procrastinating each day by filling your day up with excuses. Deep down, you know you can do it with the time you have, but the stress and discomfort you have when you sit down just makes you feel… bad. So, you pass the time you have with all sorts of things you like to do so you can push away that feeling. For example, in the article by Tim Urban, “Why Procrastinators Procrastinate” said, “In college, the sudden unbridled personal freedom was a disaster for me… I would do those the night before, until I realized I could just do them through the night, and I did that until I realized I could actually start them in the early morning on the day they were due” said the author. The more time you have, the more you overestimate it. Somehow, the math in your brain tells you that the hours you need to finish your homework can be done on the last few minutes before you go to bed. That time you have slowly fades away since you are using it to waste. Especially in this article called “Procrastination: Oops, Where Did the Day Go?” by Timothy Pychyl, one sentence especially captured what I want to say. “Feel good now, worry about that intention later. Short-term gain, long-term pain.” Put all the negative emotions aside, have fun for a short while, and it comes back, worse. So why? If you have time, use it, or else it will result in enormous servings of anxiety.

Another reason why I think procrastination is damaging, is that the pain and stress when the time is the time is up, outweighs the small-term satisfaction during procrastination. Procrastination isn’t ‘caused’ by anything. You decide. The small-term relief of stress doesn’t even come close to being worth the wave of pain in that slim amount of time. An example of this would be from the article, “The Balloon” written by Marky Nemko, which states, “Tony’s procrastinating ways finally caught up with him. He had been smart enough to be able to slide by at work but, at 40, senior-citizenhood for programmers, his procrastination combined with not keeping up with the latest languages and the slight decrements to his brainpower--noticeable only in such cognitively demanding fields as programming--got him "laid off.” This means procrastination really can affect your health, career, and your future. Right now, procrastination only applies to your homework, but in reality, this is proof of how procrastination can really mess up lives. “Lives can be ruined by procrastination. Certain kinds of procrastination have severely negative consequences if we don't take care of the tasks now. Dr. Bruce Liese mentions his concern for patients who procrastinate on coming to the doctor for fear of confirming that they really are sick.” says the article, “Negatives Consequences of Procrastination” written by Bill Anderson. Doesn’t this prove my point?

After all this, there is still more. Procrastination causes lack of hard work and determination. Even small procrastinations can demonstrate the laziness and how quickly you give up. Because of all this delaying, it’s a hurry to finish at the last minute. From the same article written by Bill Anderson, it stated this, “Dr. Bruce Liese explores this question and gives some insight into some of the causes and effects of procrastination. He says that any kind of procrastination is essentially delaying and thus avoiding our obligations. However, many people "get away" with procrastination time and time again, causing a perpetual cycle that reinforces a lack of discipline.” What this shows and should prove to you, is the more you procrastinate, the more it becomes a habit in which you don’t bother and avoid the challenges you face. In BBC’s “Procrastination: Readers' Tales of Epic Time-wasting”, there was a story from Craig, Bedfordshire, “I bought a book called 52 Steps To Defeating Procrastination. I've still never read it - it was over 10 years ago, and I'm not even sure where it is now.” Funny right? Well, in reality there are more serious scenarios which harm many, in terms of perseverance and finding a solution to a problem. Would you like this to happen to you?

It isn’t easy to stop, but when it comes to fighting to procrastination, you need that hard work and determination. The sooner you learn to fight it the better, the built up stress overflows and will swarm you unless you use that time you have efficiently. Don’t make excuses, don’t delay, just do it. Personally, I was a hardcore procrastinator. No joke. I would have a bunch of homework and bail, and eventually stay up until midnight because I began so late. Because of the numerous incidents, I just remembered the stress and tiredness, so I work hard when I have homework. I even do some homework several days before it’s due! What you need to remember, is to live in the present. Do it now, and you will have a good rest. Sit down and don’t be distracted and start making excuses. Set a time to start and finish and see what you get done without any distractions. You’ll be surprised.

CITATIONS

Urban, Tim. "Why Procrastinators Procrastinate - Wait But Why." Wait But Why. N.p., 29 Oct. 2013. Web. 11 Mar. 2016.
Pychyl, Timothy. "Procrastination: Oops, Where Did the Day Go?"Psychology Today. N.p., 6 Sept. 2011. Web. 13 Mar. 2016. ”Procrastination: Readers' Tales of Epic Time-wasting - BBC News." BBC News. N.p., 30 Aug. 2012. Web. 13 Mar. 2016.
Nemko, Marty. "The Balloon." Psychology Today. N.p., 11 Mar. 2016. Web. 13 Mar. 2016.
Anderson, Bill, Matthew Long-Middleton, and Sydney Llewellyn. "The Negative Consequences Of Procrastination." The Negative Consequences Of Procrastination. N.p., 9 Sept. 2013. Web. 13 Mar. 2016.

Teenager Independence

Dear parents,

I am writing in the perspective of a 12 turning 13 year old, and with the experience of having an older brother, I believe I can legitimately say that I see both sides of the situation with teenagers. You are all parents of a 12-13 year old son/daughter. The issue of having a teenager living under the same roof is becoming increasingly hard to ignore. I believe that you, as parents should provide guidance, care and patience for your teenagers but at the same time giving them the freedom to make their own decisions. I believe this should be done while showing love and support to their ups and downs, strengths and weaknesses.

It is a popular belief that teenagers are emotional, irritable and not pleasant to live with. Have you ever asked yourself why? The scientific answer you usually get is puberty. But have you ever imagined what it would be like if they didn’t desire to be independent growing teenagers? If they were content under your control, never wanting to leave the house, never questioning your commands? You have to understand that a teenager’s desire to become independent and self reliant is a natural trait leading into growing and adulthood. Remind yourself that it’s not your fault and in a way it’s not your child’s either.

Firstly, you need to let your teenager make mistakes and learn from them. “Your child needs to make some mistakes, to explore and have new experiences. This will help him learn life’s lessons and continue to shape his brain’s development.” An article stated from Center of Adolescence Healthy, part of Royal Children’s Hospital. Through mistakes teenagers learn what’s right to wrong, life lessons etc. As hard as it is to watch your child stumble and fall, you have to understand that at the end of the day they will be positively developed adults. You have to believe in their ability to take a fall, recover and learn from it. This requires patience. Usually more than you’re ready to give. There is good news though, if you can make it past this rough patch of rudeness, arguments, scowling, your lovable, kind child will emerge.

Secondly, a popular topic when it comes to teenagers is the struggle for control. As they grow they’ll begin to want more of a voice in matters. “To put it in political terms, they want a democracy in which they are a voting member, rather than a dictatorship run by parents.” Stated Teenhelp, an organisation whose goal is to bring awareness to both parents and teens.

Although, some parents may argue that they are beginning to have less and less control over their teens in some issues, they still have influence. I can confirm this with my own experience. Understand that the more illogical and unreasonable rules and regulations they become, the less serious your teenager takes you. As hard as it is to admit it, there are times where it becomes appropriate to give in to the argument. This does not mean giving them free control all the time, it means sometimes you have to admit you are arguing the losing, irrational side of the argument.

In conclusion, you have to understand that parenting doesn’t mean having full control over your teenagers. They require guidance and support, not directions and commands. You have to loosen the rope over time, letting them explore, learn about themselves, their talents and weaknesses. This means being supportive and loving, , showing genuine interest in their everyday lives, giving space and privacy, yet setting family rules. "Don't panic; stay on your child's team, even when it appears to be a losing team, and give the whole process time to work itself out." Wrote Dr. Dobson professor in pediatrics. Remember, stay patient, keep talking and keep trying.